In addition to communication, sex and money are the next biggest challenges in marriages. Financial issues are a big reason why couples aren’t getting along, and may even end in divorce. There are many issues under the umbrella of finances that can affect your relationship with your partner, and it’s common for couples not to know how to begin addressing these issues. This can lead to stress, shame, blame and a slew of other negative feelings about yourself and your partner. Many couples do not follow up and complete proper premarital counseling where the issue of each partner’s relationship with money and his/her habits could be addressed. Therefore these habits are intensified as the couple run into spending or overspending or even underspending habits!
As much as it may not seem like it at times, these problems are fixable and can be highly preventable. Many couples just need some extra help.
Marriage counseling for financial issues may be just the thing that helps you save your relationship. They can help you with planning your future, maintaining your commitments, as well as forgiving each other for past blunders. All you need to do is acknowledge that you and your partner need help and commit to making some different decisions for the good of yourself, your relationship, and your bank account.
Financial troubles don’t always have to end in divorce. Overcoming such stressful issues can actually lead to a stronger relationship than you ever had before. All it takes is a commitment on both sides, and a promise to work through things together as a team.
It may not look the same for every couple, but here are some common signs that you and your partner need marriage counseling for financial issues. Exploring these signs can help you realize that your relationship has a problem, and have you on your way to resolving these issues and having a happy and peaceful relationship in the future.
You have a lot of credit card debt
Having a lot of credit card debt is not something that should be taken lightly. It’s extremely stressful for everyone involved, and difficult to get on top of if you continue with the same habits. To resolve this serious problem, you need a solid plan.
How marriage counseling can help: A marriage counselor can help you and your partner to get back on track to tackle the debt you have. They can give you tips on how to remain a team and help you focus your attention on coming up with a solution to your debt. They can also help you look toward the future and make sure you don’t end up in this situation again.
If you have any debt issues or any other money habits, I highly recommend Financial Peace University founded and led by Dave Ramsey. You must complete his online courses whether married or not. This will change your life and as a result partly part of your marital issues that stem from financial habits. This recommendation is only part of the picture and new training you may need. It’s a completely new way of thinking of living.
You’re always fighting about money
All couples have arguments every now and then, but if you and your partner seem to frequently be arguing about the same thing, it means the issue isn’t being resolved, and it can come up again at any time. Maybe you each have different ideas about what the problem is. You may have different concerns that need to be addressed. Money, like any other issue, is a result of deeper issues and goes way back to your own history, how you grew up, and what you’ve learned and the current relationship you have with money.
How marriage counseling can help: A marriage counselor can help you each pinpoint what you feel the problem is and communicate that to your partner. You can each voice your concerns in a constructive way so you’re on the same page on what the issue is. Then you can work on tackling each other’s concerns together.
You’re always late paying your bills
If you’re late paying your bills most of the time, you may not be living within your means. This can lead to being lost in debt in the future. This is a problem that you need to deal with before it leads to a bigger problem.
How marriage counseling can help: A marriage counselor can help you make some changes to your spending routine so that you can afford your lifestyle without having to make major changes to your standard of living. They can show you some of the spending habits that may be unnecessarily bringing you closer to being in debt and help you make a budget that works for you.
One or both of you are irresponsible with spending
Being an impulse shopper or buying expensive items without discussing them with your partner first can put a lot of unnecessary stress on your relationship and can put you in debt quickly. If this is the case with one of you, it can be extremely stressful for your partner. If this is the case with both of you, you might put all the blame on each other, or be unaware of exactly what the problem is.
How marriage counseling can help: A marriage counselor can help you identify your spending problems and inform you on the effect these problems can have financially and in your relationship. They can help you communicate your concerns to each other as a team and ensure that you know how your impulse shopping can negatively affect your relationship and drive you into debt.
You’re newly married
If you were recently married, this may be a good time to get on the same page about your spending. It’s always best to try to address problems before they happen and come up with a plan rather than waiting until the problem has already affected your relationship and your financial situation.
How a marriage counselor can help: A marriage counselor can help you articulate to each other what your financial goals are and what kind of a life you want to have together. Sometimes people have different ideas of what their life together looks like and may assume you’re on the same page.
Make a Plan
One person’s idea of their future life might look completely different from their partner’s and not discussing these differences can lead to extreme stress and future debt. Discuss your plans together and make compromises so that you can both have what you want. This can be a big help in preventing debt as well as arguments.
Jousline Savra can help. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the Roswell, GA area, she is an expert in marriage counseling, relationships, and family therapy. She has over 22 years of experience in helping couples attain emotional stability, enhancing communication, and improving their relationships. Give her a call today and work together to overcome obstacles in your marriage.