Keeping your relationship in good condition requires knowing when you need professional help. Here is how you know your relationship needs marriage counseling. People seek help and spend much money on improvement for many aspects of their lives including getting needed maintenance for their cars, their houses, their many objects in life, however, sadly their relationship is often neglected.
Did you know that there is an average of 746,971 divorces in the US each year? It can be easy to give up on a relationship, especially when you are unhappy. But do you know how to fight to save one?
Luckily, it does not have to be done alone. Read on as we discuss the signs you need to consider marriage counseling.
Deceit Is Present
All relationships need a degree of trust to work. Once that trust is broken, it can be hard to get back, if it ever comes back at all. One person, or both, being deceitful in a relationship is a common cause of marriage problems. The most obvious examples are people having an affair. However, trust can also be broken when one person is accused, and they are innocent.
Deceit does not always have to be sexually motivated. For example, one person may have lied about their actions or deceived the one concerning finances. This could be a sign that you have morals that are not aligned, and you may need to talk to your spouse to see if your outlook on life is the same.
Loss of Sexual Connection
In long-term relationships, it is natural to have periods of diminished sexual connection. The excitement of that early relationship period has worn off. Once you are married, jobs and children arrive, and it can be hard to make time.
However, this should not last forever. If a time comes when you are alone and you are not making the most of it, there may be a problem. Even in the times between, you should still be sharing cuddles, hugs, and kisses when you can.
The Same Conflicts Arise
One of the first signs you may need counseling for couples is if a constant sense of tension is in the air and you are sad, unhappy, and feel disconnected but you don’t know how to verbalize it. Time goes by and things become more complex. You may feel your partner is ready to snap at any minute, or you may feel you are on a short fuse. Unfortunately, fights may start at the slightest of things and never seem to end.
If you find yourself having these arguments repeatedly, you need some way to break the circle. You may feel like you have tried but are coming out of it misunderstood and worse than when you began.
Finally, you may reach a point where you are both looking to argue with each other. This is dangerous territory because a system of revenge occurs where both parties try to get one over on the other person.
The Arguments Stop
At odds with the last entry is when the arguments stop completely without resolution. Arguments and disagreements are okay, the problem is that many couples do not have the right skills to talk through difficult disagreements without feeling stuck and the hurt gets deeper and distance grows further apart. Then it may be too late to impair the marriage. This is a crucial stage in solving marriage issues because it is the point where both people have given up. You become sick of the anger, the arguments, and crucially, trying to make it work.
In essence, arguing is a step in solving marital issues. You are attempting to resolve issues, albeit in an emotionally charged way; that is not the best method. It may not work as well as if you talk to your spouse, but it is trying.
Controlling Behavior
Another sign you may need counseling for couples is if one or both of you display controlling behavior. Relationships need a degree of freedom to exist. This comes hand in hand with trust, and as previously discussed, a relationship does not work without trust.
Perhaps you are the person being controlled. For example, your partner may ask for unacceptable boundaries, such as selecting your friends and what you do with your time. On the other hand, it could be you that is the controlling person, ever watchful about what your partner does and attempting to assert dominance over it.
In both examples, control is not a good basis for a relationship. Controlling behavior is a serious sign that something is wrong, you need to address the issue quickly.
Addiction Problems
Unfortunately, one of the most common relationship problems is addiction. On the surface, drugs and alcohol are the most obvious culprits. Sex addiction is a big problem in marriages and relationships today. In many ways, many couples don’t know how to talk to each other about this ongoing problem. The habits of viewing pornography, compulsive behaviors, however, if people turn to them just as relationship problems are beginning to show, it can worsen matters.
However, addictions run much deeper than that. They cover a whole spectrum that may not be obvious at first. For example, gambling is a very common one and is often linked to financial irresponsibility. Others can include food and overeating. Technology addiction is also on the rise, as is an addiction to pornography. These addictions could be the cause of the marital problems or the result of it. Therefore, you may need to seek marriage counseling and seek addiction treatment for the person impacted as well.
You Don’t Tell Each Other Things
This is a classic sign that communication has broken down. In a relationship, you should look forward to giving each other news. You should talk about your day, what has happened and how you are feeling.
If you find out about your partner’s life from other people, you have a problem. Perhaps their family, friends, and colleagues are talking about things they assume you know. Maybe you are the person who keeps telling things to others but fails to relay them to your partner. Doing this shows your lack of interest in each other. A marriage counselor will help you get that spark back and work on communication.
Starting Marriage Counseling
These factors do not have to be consistent. You may feel that one of them occurs more regularly, or more than one exists in the relationship. For any of them in any form, you should seek marriage counseling.
Your first step for marriage counseling should be Jousline Savra. Providing therapy for individuals, families, and couples, for over 22 years, Jousline is a registered and licensed therapist. Contact her here and get your marriage back on track starting today.