Reasons You Are Having Problems In Your Relationship

Discover the roots to your marital problems

If you have read parts of my blog, you can see that I am a strong practitioner of the attachment theory. Whether you are married or single, your attachment style is causing challenges and misunderstandings in your relationship.

What is an attachment style? Attachment theory shows how your early life experiences have trained you to relate and connect in your close relationships. This style affects how you express yourself or not. It makes you aware to that leads to frustrations and poor connection in your relationship. Your attachment style also explains and clarifies how you find love, why you get attracted to certain individuals and explains the way you love in spite of marital challenges.

A significant aspect of the couples’ challenges and relational problems is that they never learned how to talk to each other.  69% of the problems that couples have is never resolved.  67% of the successful marriages never resolve problems, but the key to their success is that they learn how to have that difficult conversation without feeling distant, disconnected and reactive.

In order to do this, it’s very important that a couple knows what forms a connection.  This is why knowing your attachment style as a spouse, is very important.  In addition, the following points are required for improving your relationship. When two individuals want to form a deep healthy connection, it’s important that they are: available, respectful and accepting. For this, it’s critical that you have the right relationship skills.

As a marriage counselor, I can show you as a couple simple and practical ways to how to talk and communicate in ways that you won’t run into a relational collision, rather you can feel understood and connected to your spouse. During the couple’s therapy in my office, after they learn new ways of expressing themselves.  I frequently hear of their amazement as a couples becomes aware how to make changes, as they each learn to speak and listen in a new way.  The listening skills that I teach couples simply places the focus on what really matters as they experience true emotional intimacy.

So what is happening in your relationship today? How long more are you going to suffer through an inner silence of your relational and emotional pain that your partner is not really aware of? I know you are doing the best you can but things are either getting worse in your marital relationship or you continue feeling stuck. It is so exciting for me to witness and be part of the couple’s progress and growth, when they have worked hard through many sessions and they finally know how to communicate in a way that they feel connected no matter what the challenge or difference of opinion may be.

I have heard from couples, saying “I wish I had this information before”. Please take sometime read the previous articles on attachment styles in my Blog page right above this page discussing the Pleaser, Avoider or Vacillator style. I invite you to take the step of getting real help. Don’t postpone dealing with your relational and marital problems any longer. Call me this week, and let’s meet for a few sessions and find out for yourself. Wish you all the best. You can contact me via this website page by clicking on the Contact Jousline today, button below.

Jousline Savra, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist